First I have to thank Scott for allowing me to use this forum. I have communicated to a few of my friends my plan to do this and all were encouraging. One good friend said "clarity can bring you peace". One can only hope. Another reason for this letter is I believe there are a lot of misconceptions caused by people, who have no information, jumping on their ponies' and acting like Paul Revere.
In the interest of context I'm going to start several years ago as I lost my last job.
Fifteen months later I found a job running a TV station and radio cluster out West and was in the proses of closing the deal. I got up on a rainy July Thursday, went in to my home office, made and returned calls and sent out and returned correspondence. At around 2:30 I walked to my living room with my cell phone in hand and sat in my "big chair" to read a volume of letters by the late journalist Hunter S Thompson. It wasn't unusual for me to read three or four books a week. About Thirty minutes later I slumped in the chair, something had broken inside me, I felt awful. I managed to pick up the cell and speed dial my pal Steve. I knew Steve lived and worked close by. When he picked up I asked him to call me an ambulance, later told he didn't recognize my voice (it had changed and hasn't returned to "normal"). He confirmed he would do as I asked. I felt worse. I tried to stand, the room flipped, I fell on the floor. While laying there I heard sirens in the distance. Then I died.